Yesterday, I was at the nail salon on the Gold Coast. I sat next to an incredible, accomplished, and very successful lady and we had a gorgeous conversation about all sorts of wonderful things. Then, she asked me where the kids go to school. I replied they go to school in Brisbane where we live during the week, and we’re on the Gold Coast for weekends.
“You have two homes?” she asked. “Yes,” I replied.
And here’s the kicker… the next question: “What does your husband do that you are able to do that?”
This is not the first time, nor will it be the last that someone assumes my darling husband is the breadwinner. I ordinarily shake it off, but today… as I launch Luxissima, which is all about normalizing wealth and success (especially for self-made women who tend to have a degree of shame about it), I took a sharp breath in and shook my head.
“Well, my husband is successful. He does some really important work. And, I have a company that is very successful and invest in many others that are also very successful, so the ability to live the life we do financially is mostly with me.”
She was shocked, surprised, and delighted. It started a long conversation about how few of us own our success, especially women, and her quick assumption that our financial situation would be thanks to my husband’s work.
Self Made Women and Success
Does it even matter who earns the money in a relationship? I don’t think so. I barely think about it until incidents like this happen.
But does this conversation need to be had? Goodness me, YES.
I see countless media articles and posts about men’s wealth and success. It’s completely normalised. Jets, cars, Twitter investments… of course.
And what about women? Mostly, it’s softer. It’s about their trajectory, how they will give away their fortune, the impact their making.
Look at the way Melanie Perkins, Sarah Blakeley, Ariana Huffington and Oprah are spoken about in the media.
Melanie Perkins is worth $16bn and she’d like to give it all away.
This Atlanta woman was the first billionaire to promise to give away her wealth – about Sarah Blakely
Here are all the ways Oprah gives back.
Now, I am 100% all about impact and giving… but if you look at Musk, Bezos… any of the boys – and you’ll be hard-pressed to find any recent media about their need to give away their fortunes. It’s there (yes, yes, Gates is doing a fine job) – but it’s not front and centre for most of them.
We are far more comfortable with men owning their success, and far more comfortable with women giving their fortune away in order to be comfortable with that success.
Yes, yes, yes… no doubt you can find plenty of examples to the contrary… but from my angle, it’s everywhere both external and internal for women.
My clients are making extraordinary amounts of money – both male and female – and it’s shocked me the difference between them. Women tend to be ashamed – they hide their success and wealth. They don’t talk to family and friends about it. If they talk about it publicly, they tend to want to attach their success to giving back and impact.
I never expected to spend a considerable amount of time working with clients on money mindset – especially owning and loving and accepting and having deep pride for their success and wealth. It’s been an extraordinary surprise to me that this limitation is there.
But it is.
And it’s time to stop the shame.
Shonda Rhimes is My “Own It” Hero
There are a few champions of success that I’m coveting and these giants are leading my example for all self-made Icons. Hiding your success is not helping inspire anyone (and it’s certainly not going to allow you to land the sort of deals and clients that will change your financial situation forever).
If you want to see someone owning her success in the most STUNNING way, watch Shonda Rhimes at the Elle Women in Hollywood event in 2018.
“I will not hide. I am going to brag. I am the highest-paid showrunner in television”, she said. “It is not about ego, but it is a way to let the world know that you are outstanding in what you do. It will also influence other women to do the same.”
“I tell you this for two reasons,” Shonda added. “One, I’m awesome. And I work with a ton of other equally awesome women. And women do not brag enough. The other day I came to this conclusion that men brag and women hide. Even when they don’t deserve to brag, men brag”
Normalizing Wealth and Success
My clients make extraordinary amounts of money. They have multiple wealth streams and have a life of true freedom. They are all self-made and have worked incredibly hard to achieve the level of success they now enjoy.
Whilst they understand the importance of owning their power and success in their professional circles (because that is a basic rule of the Icon), unfortunately, they frequently hide their wealth and accomplishments from their friends and family, who simply do not understand their success. They cannot share all they have achieved on social media or in their “normal” social circles as wealth simply is not normalized.
I thought enough is enough… and am taking some of my own medicine. I tell my clients to bravely say the things they believe and start revolutions. Here is mine: we need to normalise success and wealth. Our gifted people who create disruptive legacies ought to speak about their accomplishments and success and significance and wealth to inspire others to achieve at this level.
Why? Because it’s those brave people who own their success that inspire others to do the same. It’s the Shonda’s, the Oprah’s, the Ariana’s, the the Rebel’s who will be the giants who show the future Icons what is possible. Evidence needs to be EVERYWHERE.
Right now, we water down those who are successful. Apologise and dumb it down – yes, she made a fortune BUT, it’s ok because she is giving it all away.
Give it all away, fabulous – but let’s not permanently attach that limb to every woman who succeeds.
Own it. Love it. Show it. Embody it.
Normalize success and wealth and accomplishment, please.
My revolution has a name. It’s called Luxissima.
I started Luxissima as a safe place to speak freely about a life of true luxury and all this means, for my clients and others who are enjoying extraordinary levels of abundance and success.
What is it?
For now… it’s simple. A daily dose of luxury – Luxissima Daily Riches – every day of the week, 365 days a year. Enrich your life and celebrate your success with no limitations.
The idea is to allow those who are successful to stop being ashamed of it, and instead revel in it. To be inspired by how others spend their money and discover the freedom that comes with normalizing wealth and success and surrounding yourself with others who have achieved as you have. To inspire your ultimate abundance and wealth satisfaction with peers.
No modesty about your success. Just real-life opulence for your pure enjoyment – inspiring others to do the same.
My new friend at the nail salon, who is also very accomplished, is also on a mission to own her own success. Let’s be the giants.
Come with me. Play big. Become Iconic. Build your Iconic Empire.
P.S. Join me on this quest to normalise success and wealth. Luxissima Daily Riches is free for all wealthy, self-made women looking for a safe place to be inspired to luxuriate in their success.